Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Sybil in the White House

Mitt Romney is like Sybil, the character with multiple personality disorder. To borrow from the deeply Christian Rick Santorum wing, either he is Sybil or he is a liar.


Conservative Evangelicals have been fond of joking, "It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve," and their champion, the next Imposter in Chief, could be the embodiment of the Capital Hill version of The 3 Faces of Steve. On the other hand, perhaps this is insufficient critique of Mitt Romney's latest makeover.



During the third debate, he was the man with the foolish grin, a grin so artificial he looked like he was constipated and overdosed on Visine. With this in mind, electing Governor Romney will be a tribute to the old Beatle's tune The Fool on the Hill, the eyes in his head see the world spinning round while I presume he is eating fresh grapefruit with a bib on, servants trimming his hair, Ann all in awe, 5 sons, in letter sweaters ready to toss the ol' football around.


In another moment, the Governor is the coonskin cap wearing King of the Wild Frontier, but closer to Davy Bullsh*t than Davy Crockett (and less noble than Sonny Crockett.)


Insome exchanges, he appeared as a sweaty form of Richie Rich, say Richie Shvitz, or a skinny version of Newt GingRICH.

Another incarnation is the Three Headed Hydra -- one part Richard Nixon, one part Spiro Agnew, one part Lance Armstrong.

Parents out there could imagine Mr. Romney as an even cheesier Henry the Octopus from the Wiggles.
Herbie Hancock could have played Chameleon in the background.


It seems like one should never underestimate how easily hoodwinked the American people are. Money may not be able to buy you love (sorry Kardashian generation), but it will buy one an election. If you value honesty and sincerity, you are just out of luck.

Your next President may be the greatest shapeshifter of all time.




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