How Groupon Affirms Me

It's free for the vendor. It's discounted. It offers 35% off. They offer huge discounts off the "best stuff my city has to offer." Lucky me! I don't need to fight for quality taxpayer funded education -- just give me a scissors printer.

I now have the privilege to receive a daily discount from Groupon or LivingSocial or some other company that has my best interest and happiness in mind. As Sally Field said, "They like me. they really like me!

By my calculations, if I save 37% on the bottle of Reunite Lambrusco a fine Ernest and Julio Gallo's  California Chardonnay, I will not only save money, but get the joy of walking up to a non-unionized member of our nearly minimum wage service sector and show her how we successful middle-class strivers do it! Not only do I save on this heavily discounted item which I didn't really want and still churns a modest profit for store and bottler, but I also feel dignified.

All I can say is, "What a great country!"

Relatives In Oz, Deluded, Powerful, and On Drugs